WHAT I DO FOR A LITTLE RELIEF IN THE REAR!!!

IT IS 1:25 IN THE MORNING AND I AM WIDE AWAKE SO I DECIDED TO BLOG ABOUT MY ADVENTURES OF GOING TO THE DOCTOR TODAY. I HAVE HAD A PINCHED NERVE IN MY NECK AND MY LEFT HIP, SO I FINALLY MADE THE APPOINTMENT AND WENT IN. (IT HAS TAKEN ME 2 YEARS) I HOPE I NEVER HAVE A REAL SERIOUS PROBLEM CAUSE I WILL DIE WHILE I AM WAITING TO FEEL BETTER! SO ANYWAY, I GO IN AND HAVE 8 X-RAYS, THE DOCTOR COMES IN AND TELLS ME I DON'T LOOK TOO BAD BUT I DEFINITELY HAVE SOME WEAR AND TEAR ON MY BONES. WELL TOMORROW I GO IN FOR A MRI ON MY NECK BUT TODAY THE SUGGESTED TREATMENT WAS A CORTISONE SHOT IN THE BUTT TO SEE IF THAT WOULD RELIEVE THE PAIN. OK, NOW THIS IS WHERE IS GETS TO BE FUNNY. I HAVE TO GO TO ANOTHER FACILITY (WHICH I WON'T CALL BY NAME, TO SAVE MY BUTT FROM LAW SUITS) AND I AM TOLD WHEN I MAKE THE APPT. I HAVE TO HAVE SOME ONE COME WITH ME TO DRIVE ME HOME. ( I CAN DRIVE MYSELF THERE, BUT NOT HOME) INTERESTING, SO I ASK SARAH IF SHE WILL ASSIST ME WITH GETTING THERE AND GETTING HOME. WE GO AND THE FIRST THING IS "WHO IS DRIVING YOU HOME" AFTER THIS SHOT? THEY TAKE ME BACK, TAKE ALL MY VITALS (WHICH ARE GREAT), I WAIT 1/2 HOUR AND THEY BRING ME A GOWN, A HAIR NET, AND BOOTIES TO GO OVER MY SHOES. MIND YOU, I AM HAVING A SHOT. THEY PUT ME IN A WHEEL CHAIR AND TAKE ME TO THE OPERATING ROOM!!!!

OK, NOW I CLIMB UP ON THE OPERATING TABLE AND THEY TELL ME TO LOWER THE DRAWERS. I AM FINE WITH THAT SINCE THE SHOT WILL BE GOING IN MY BACK SIDE.

THEY WASH MY BACK FOR SURGERY(THE SHOT) WITH ICE COLD DISINFECTANT AND GIVE ME A LITTLE LOCAL ANESTHESIA. HE DOES NOT WAIT MORE THAT 15 SECONDS AND SENDS THE HUGE NEEDLE DOWN MY BACK TO PLACE THE CORTISONE. (WHY WASTE THE LOCAL ANESTHETIC)? ANY WAY AFTER THE 30 SECOND PROCEDURE THEY WASH MY BACK AGAIN WITH ICE COLD WATER, LOAD ME BACK IN THE WHEEL CHAIR AND TAKE ME OUT TO POST OP. CHECK ALL MY VITALS AGAIN ( I AM STILL GOOD), PROCEED TO TAKE ME TO THE WAITING ROOM WHERE I HAD TO SIT FOR 15 MINUTES TO MAKE SURE I WOULD NOT REACT TO THE SHOT. SARAH IS HAVING A LAUGHING FIT, AND ALSO SHE IS ANTSY BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE TO THE PAMPERED CHEF PARTY AND WE WILL NOT GET THE "BE EARLY PRIZE". OK, AFTER 15 MINUTES THEY WHEEL ME TO MY CAR AND HELP ME IN. OK WAS THIS GREAT SERVICE OR WHAT??

AND TO MAKE IT ALL WORTH WHILE THEY TELL ME NOT TO DO MUCH THE REST OF THE EVENING. SWEET!!!!! I TELL SARAH TO DRIVE ME HOME MISS SARAH AND FIX MY DINNER AND OH BY THE WAY, THEY SAID AN ICE PACK ON MY BUTT WOULD BE NICE. I HAD A SHOT FOR PETE SAKES!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THE BILL. I WILL NOT BE LAUGHING THEN, WILL I??? OH, AND BY THE WAY SARAH DID WIN A STINKIN PRIZE BUT NOT ME!!! ALSO, THE SNOW IS FALLING AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND I AM STILL WIDE AWAKE. I DO NEED TO SLEEP BECAUSE MY MRI ADVENTURE IS FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING. SARAH THINKS I NEED A VALIUM!! HA HA SHE IS FUNNY, BUT I WOULDN'T MIND IT. IT IS MY DRUG OF CHOICE. OOPS PROBABLY TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! GOOD NIGHT TO ALL OR GOOD MORNING I GUESS.